From a Former Company Director: Feminine Qualities that Helped Me Succeed

Hello, and welcome back to the blog! Today we're covering feminine, ladylike qualities that helped me succeed in my corporate roles.

I very honestly can say I worked with many lovely women and learned something from each of them, no matter where they fell on the sliding scale from 100% feminine to 100% masculine. In today's culture, though, women tend to focus on masculine qualities to help them succeed in their white-collar careers. We value a certain level of assertiveness, "taking up space," and blunt honesty as ways to get us ahead in the workforce. While these qualities are certainly helpful in some, if not most, corporate positions, I'd like to cover a handful of feminine qualities that boosted me all the way to Director. Let's jump right in with quality #1:

Kindness

A little kindness can cover a lot of ground. From general coffee bar niceties to polite small talk in the elevator, making positive connections with your coworkers, the people in your building, and all the folks you see in Zoom meetings keeps you at the forefront of the Office Nice List. 

We shouldn't be kind to people just to get ahead at work, because that's manipulative, rude, and generally unkind, but being kind has the added benefit of making others look favorably upon you when opportunities arise for raises, promotions, or big project leads. It also leads others to be more forgiving of your mistakes when they happen. That unheard-of missed deadline, accidentally deleted file, or forgotten email are easily swept aside as "no big deal" when you've been kind to everyone around you.

I've said it to my husband, I've said it to my momma, and I'll say it to y'all - kindness has gotten me everywhere I ever needed to be. (Except for the one time it didn't, which is a blog post for another day. But it definitely got me to Director, and that's what matters today!)

Forgiveness and Grace

We're all human, and we'll all make mistakes. Someone on your team will struggle with an assignment and make your job harder. You'll be forgotten on an email sent out to the department praising the hard work and dedication your group put into a successful project. Somewhere down the line, someone is going to be inconsiderate or impolite, whether on purpose or by accident. When it happens, take a moment to breathe, then offer up forgiveness and grace. 

Like kindness, forgiveness has the tendency to become reciprocal. Forgive others and they're more likely to forgive you. Smooth over those ugly moments and let bygones be bygones. Everyone will be happier and more successful for it.

Gentleness

In this case, gentleness is a foil to assertiveness. Instead of approaching a moment like an arrow shot straight into the heart of the matter, approach it like a ray of sunshine, bringing in some welcome light and warmth. (Cheesy, no? I'm a little proud of how cringy that sentence came together.) 

Assertiveness is appropriate in certain settings, but in some can make you the equivalent of a bull in a china shop. It can run rampant over a fragile situation and trample any chances you have for long-term ladder climbing. Slow down and try to consider the long-term effects of constant assertion. It's like nails on a chalkboard at some point - your coworkers will know you as The Mean Lady who never lets up, the person who would probably sell their own mother to get what they need. 

Where assertion lends a hardness to your overall personality, gentleness has a softening effect, which can be beneficial as you play the long game. (And especially as you play the medium game, looking to get ahead quickly in the next five years!)

Simplicity and Minimalism

Messy women do not get ahead. The self-control and willpower needed to claim simplicity and minimalism are qualities highly beneficial to both the most feminine ladies and the most masculine men, and all those in between. 

If you cannot find your notes because you're disorganized, you have so many hobbies that you never finish a project, or you've said "yes" to too many responsibilities and the stress is dragging you down, you will not easily climb any ladders, personal or professional. Clutter distracts from everything important. Digital clutter, physical clutter, mental clutter, calendar clutter, just...clutter. All of it. Pare down the areas of your life one by one until you're able to make your professional life a priority. You're going to need margin each day to handle with grace and poise the stressors your work life will regularly throw at you. Grace and poise are important - no one promotes an emotionally unstable wild woman. Promotions come to those exercising all that self-control I mentioned earlier. 

To be clear,  your professional life doesn't have to be a priority. You don't need to climb any ladders, and you can take a break from climbing to tend to personal matters when your personal life needs 110% of your attention. Your professional atmosphere will take a backseat sometimes, because, as ladies, we occasionally have things to attend to that are far more important than long-term corporate success. 

Appearance

A polished look never hurt anyone's professional success. I'm not talking about Pretty Privilege here, although I'd be wrong to suggest that attractive people never get ahead faster or go farther.

Here I'm talking about tidiness of appearance. Wear clothing free of wrinkles, stains, and lint. Choose outfits appropriate for the office dress code, and don't try to get by with clothes or accessories that are even slightly too casual. 

If you work from home, make sure you're dressed appropriately for Zoom meetings, even if your camera will be off. You never know what might happen, and you need to be wearing pants during Zoom meetings. Don't wear casual t-shirts, hoodies, or tank tops. You don't need to show up in a suit, but put on a blouse or throw a cardigan over that graphic tee and make yourself look a little more put-together before you start making impressions on people.

Save the messy bun for the weekend and find a hairstyle with a little more professionalism to its name. (I like these velvet-covered flexible bobby pins to create a quick and easy low bun that looks pretty and thoughtful, even though it takes 30 seconds to accomplish.)

If you're looking to represent a team, a department, or an entire company, you need to look the part. Clients and team members have a higher level of confidence in a tidy dresser versus a sloppy one. 

That's it for today, ladies! Thank you for stopping by the blog, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.

All the love,

Emily

Please feel free to contact me at admin@tulipsandbasil.com!