Treasured Tidbits: Things People Said to Me When I Was Expecting My First Baby

 Hello lovelies!

There are a million things that folks say to pregnant women that are, well, inappropriate if we're being frank. As I draw closer to my due date with Baby #3, I'm reflecting back on my pregnancies and the early days with Baby #1 and #2. 

Today I'd like to share with you a few things people told me when I was expecting my first that I hold dear to my heart. Let's dive in!

1. If anyone can do this, it's you.

My husband and I had our first baby out of wedlock, and the first person to know, other than him, was the nurse practitioner at the clinic at work. She was a close friend from the workplace ladies' Bible study group I attended, and she helped confirm my pregnancy. 

As I sat there in the little clinic room trying not to cry, the woman who had been my friend for years and had watched me grow in faith and as a person gave me the first bit of support that I still cling to now - a vote of confidence. If anyone could do this, it was me. 

Things were not perfect. The news was hours old and I wasn't sure what the next 24 hours would look like, much less the extended future. But she saw in me what I didn't have the strength to see in myself, and she gave me a hug and that one sentence of loving reassurance. 

That baby is now 3, and I still dig out that vote of confidence when life shakes every bit of confidence out of my spirit. 

2. You'd be surprised at how much you already know.

This one came from my supervisor around the start of my second trimester. I was preparing to leave the company for a fully remote position and in the process of tying up loose ends and saying my goodbyes. My supervisor, who was ready for grandkids of his own, told me at the end of a meeting that people always wanted to offer lots of advice, but "you'd be surprised at how much you already know."

It was comforting to hear that having a baby didn't need to be the *awful* *miserable* *unbearable* experience that so many people, both family and friends, and our general culture, made it out to be. In fact, this man I respected and cared for was telling me it might be intuitive in a lot of ways at the beginning.

I doubted myself in many things when Baby #1 was born, but at the end of the day he was right. There are so many things we already know to do as new parents.

3. When I think back to that girl I was before kids...I wouldn't even recognize her today.

Finally, a moment of reflection from a stranger. 

We found out we were expecting our first baby in early 2021. I had gotten my first COVID vaccine (remember the double shot?), found out I was expecting, and, on the recommendation of my doctors, was returning to the pharmacy for my second COVID vaccine. 

The sweet woman at the pharmacy remembered me from my visit with her just a few weeks earlier, and as we chatted I shared the news of a new baby with her. She was thrilled and started to remember back to her time as a new mother.

She told me that, in the most positive way, she wouldn't even recognize the girl she had been before her children. She said it with such peace, and her excitement and loveliness of spirit made such an impression on me. 

To a mother expecting her first baby, that comment maybe should have struck a different note. I enjoyed being the person I was before I found out I was expecting. I was confident, peaceful, and sure of who I was. I wore pretty dresses, exercised five times a week, cooked healthy meals, and read lots of books. I was exactly the kind of person I wanted to be.

To any mommas reading this point and expecting their first, maybe it's an idea that you wish I had left unspoken. Looking back on the past few years, though, I can see what this sweet stranger meant, and why she was able to be so happy about it.

I still wear pretty dresses, get in some form of daily movement, cook healthy meals, and read lots of books. What's different has so much to do with what's on the inside, and it's hard to put into words all the ways motherhood has changed me.

I have written and rewritten (and rewritten again) this paragraph. What did she mean by her old self being unrecognizable, and how can I show you why that's such a good thing?

Every way that I've separated from my old self has made me more Christlike. This wasn't ever by any choice of my own, but by the daily reshaping of my old self into someone so out of her league that my new self had no choice but to seek the Lord and change my heart. 

The more time that passes and the more ways I'm tested, the less I want to go back in time and reclaim any of my old self. That girl was lovely, and she didn't make nearly as many mistakes as the one I am now, but she also didn't know these depths of love, patience, and self-sacrifice. I think it's all worth it in the end.

That's all for today! Let me know in the comments below all of the kind things folks have said to you that have made a big impression.

All the love,

Emily

P.S. Feel free to contact me at admin@tulipsandbasil.com!