From a Former Company Director: Things I Gave Up as a Working Mother

 Hello friends!

Let's chat a bit about being a working momma. I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost a year now, but before that I was the sole source of childcare for two kids, a 2-year-old toddler and a 10-month-old baby, with a full-time job as a company director. 

I remember hearing, "I don't know how you get it all done," once or twice, and today I want to offer a list of things I gave up as a working momma in order to "get it all done." 

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1. Screen time limits

Starting off with a bang, aren't we? Most days went according to plan and I was able to give my girls a set amount of screen time. They would wake up from their afternoon nap and I would give them a snack, a drink, and a show to watch while I wrapped up whatever work I had going during their naptime. 

We all have days at work, though, that can't be wrapped up in two episodes of Bluey. Some days I had to let go of screen time limits and just plow through work. It's not a nice idea and it doesn't feel good to admit even now, but some days I desperately needed the time to do the job someone was paying me to do. If the girls were content with their shows, I could work furiously for that extra time and maybe end the day not wanting to collapse in a puddle of stress.

2. Cleanliness in my home

You can only have so many priorities before everything comes crashing down. I had to make cleanliness in our home - cleaning bathrooms, dusting, mopping - somewhat of a secondary (or possibly even tertiary, depending on what was happening in our lives) task. 

I was grossed out by my own toilets sometimes, but I needed to make sure that work got done, babies were loved, meals were cooked, and laundry was washed and dried. And most days that's all that could happen before everyone needed to get some rest and start again the next day.

3. Always cooking meals from scratch

I love to cook, and I now run a mostly from scratch kitchen. When I worked, though, I had to accept that some nights we would eat frozen pizza or I'd need to call my husband and ask him to pick up food on his way home. 

Cooking dinner right after we finished breakfast helped me cut down on the number of nights we needed Jack in the Box, but some days cooking didn't happen.

4. Saving money by doing my own grocery shopping

Enter Instacart, stage left. I still use grocery pickup services as a SAHM, but I'm able to be selective about what services I use in order to save us the most money. Instacart was PRICEY and often ate up a considerable amount of our grocery budget. I accepted the trade of money and help in our home for the time I was able to put toward my job and moved on with life.

5. Chasing all my hobbies

I had to pick one, maybe two, hobbies to pursue and leave the others alone. I never had time to read and bake and sew and garden and exercise. I only had time for one or two, and that needed to be okay.

Some seasons were purely work and family, with no time in the margins left for hobbies. Giving up on things I enjoyed never helped my mood and rest is important. I gave up 100% of my hobby time reluctantly and only for short seasons. 

This hasn't been a very cheerful post, has it? My hope here is that you, friend, will understand that I wasn't "getting it all done." I was chopping off responsibilities and mental burdens left and right in order to do the things that were non-negotiables in my life. Some days felt awful and others, I promise, were peaceful. I learned to accept that I couldn't do everything, and maybe I wasn't the perfect momma, wife, or employee, but I was doing my best. 

Rest easy, y'all, and don't worry about getting it all done.

All the love, 

Emily

P.S. Feel free to contact me at admin@tulipsandbasil.com!