The Message Christian Mothers Aren't Getting

Hello, and welcome back to the blog! 

Something has been on my heart for a bit, and I'm not sure I'll be able to clearly articulate it here, but I'd like to give it a shot. I'd like to share with you the message I think Christian mothers aren't getting.

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Mommas get a lot of information thrown their way. They have to remember details, learn new skills, and give up parts of their lives in order to love someone else the way that someone needs to be loved. 

Mommas also hear some common ideas:

"You need a break."

"You're more than just a mom."

"You need to get away for a bit."

"See, this is why moms drink wine!"

"Being a mom is not all that you are, and your kids need to see that."

And I'm sure there are more that fall in that same vein. Mommas hear from their friends, from older mommas, and, on a larger scale, from western culture, that they need a degree of separation from their kids. That their kids are driving them crazy, are a burden, are endless little sources of frustration. 

And the church is silent. At best, your church might be planning a Mom's Day Out, where mommas can connect with other mommas and get some of that much-needed separation from their kids. 

The church is not giving mommas the message they need to hear, the message found in the pages of scripture. 

The message mommas need to hear is that Christlike love is sacrificial. 

Mommas do need a break, and they do need to get away for a bit. They need breaks like Christ needed breaks, to step away by themselves and reconnect with their Heavenly Father. 

Mommas are more than just mommas. They're first and foremost daughters of a Heavenly King, and should be seeking to, first and foremost, fulfill that role. They're secondly, if they're also wives, helpmeets to their husbands, and they should be seeking to, secondly, fulfill that role. Then they're mothers. 

Mommas do not need wine. Mommas need to drink of the living water. They need to believe, truly believe, in the restoring power of the Holy Spirit in their lives. 

Being a momma is not all that a momma is, and her kids do need to see that. They need to see a faith that professes Christ as Lord and obedience to the Word modeled in their momma's daily life. 

We are called to love as Christ loves, and to love as Christ loves is to love sacrificially. We're called to take up our crosses daily and to follow Him. Why do we think taking up a cross looks anything like having a heart attitude that says, "Having kids is wearing me out, someone else can watch them while I get a break" or "If I'm going to make it to bedtime, I'm going to need at least one glass of wine"?

It doesn't. Taking up a cross will be hard. Daily. Hard. And if our hearts as mommas are fighting the idea that we need to take up a cross and sacrifice for our husbands and our children, we're not loving as Christ loves. We're not sacrificing anything.

We're joining the word in flaunting our selfish hearts when we take the attitude so often encouraged in mothers. 

Mommas will need to accept sacrifice to show biblical love. Looking to escape motherhood for a bit by indulging in "self-care" is looking to avoid the sanctification process built into living life the way God instructs. True self-care is making the effort to become more like Christ.

The message given to mommas is one that promotes selfishness and self-importance. That message is ignored by the church.

Mommas need to hear that Christlike love leads you to approach motherhood in a completely different way than whatever everyone else suggests. 

This becomes difficult to articulate in a blog post when we take into account that some of the things suggested to mothers aren't necessarily sinful or wrong. Letting kids bond with other Christian adults is a good thing! Mommas leaving kiddos with their grandparents or other close family members or friends fosters multi-generational Christian communities. 

Attending the Mother's Day Out event hosted by your local church is a fantastic way to make close friends with other mommas who can support you and encourage you with biblical advice throughout your sanctification process.

When mommas are reminded that they're more than just mommas, it's usually offered as encouragement to go on a child-free vacation, further their education, or climb a corporate ladder. None of these things are sinful until they're done with the heart attitude that puts the self first. 

It's the heart that's the problem, as it so often is when considering the Lord's commands. 

This is not my statement to mommas that they don't need a bit of a breather. This is my statement to mommas that those trips alone to Starbucks and Target and the nail salon will never, never, never give them the relief they need, because they hold the wrong attitude in their hearts. 

All the love,

Emily

Please feel free to contact me at admin@tulipsandbasil.com!