Babies and Toddlers Not Sleeping at Night? Try This ONE Thing for a Big Change!

Hello, and welcome back to the blog! 

If you're anything like me, you've spent a lot of time Googling baby sleep since your first little one was born. (And maybe even before that, it never hurts to be prepared, right?) Today I'd like to offer up one tip that I haven't read anywhere else!

Right now in my home, no one is sleeping. I've got a two-year-old and a ten-month-old, and it's been over two months since I had a full night's sleep. We were sick, we were teething, we got bug bites in the middle of the night, we were teething again, and maybe there's a sleep regression thrown in the mix, but who knows at this point.

The longer this has gone on, the more hopeless I've felt. I dread bedtime and I dread nighttime, always wondering how long it will take to get the babies to bed and how many hours I'll be awake that night. Nighttime is a hard time for me anyway - it's the time the devil sits on my shoulder and tells me that I'm alone, that everyone who loves me is against me, and that things will likely never be okay again. Then the sun comes up and the devil leaves, and I remember that I'm loved, surrounded by a wonderful community, and there are many, many things to celebrate.

Nighttime me is a different person. I'm snappish, ugly, and impatient. All patience and gentleness leave my body and are replaced by a grouch that's supposed to be nurturing little ones. I've started to speak to my children and husband about bedtime and the long night ahead sarcastically and rudely, even during my daytime sunniness. 

I've been better about staying away from Google with my second baby and trusting my instincts, but this long stretch of dependable sleeplessness has me searching for answers again.

Enter the one tip I haven't seen anywhere else on the internet: I started wishing, and then praying, that I would be a different person at night. I didn't think, "I wish I could have a better attitude." There was no use keeping the old nighttime me - she was a lost cause, much too rough to polish up. I wanted to be a whole different person by the time the next night rolled around.

I wanted to speak hopefully about bedtime, be patient during the first time the baby woke up, and also during the fourth, and be able to say "it's okay" when I made another unsuccessful attempt to lay her down in her crib after rocking her to sleep. I wanted to drop the sarcasm and the ugliness and create an atmosphere of peace in our home, no matter which of the 24 hours of the day it was. I wanted to be peaceful in the morning, no matter how little sleep I'd gotten. I wanted my babies to think Momma was a safe haven, not an angry island they needed to avoid. So I wished to be a different person.

As soon as I had the wish, I morphed it into a prayer. I prayed that God would make me different come 5pm, when the day was dragging long and everyone was getting the bedtime grumpies. I prayed He would bless me with peace that surpasses all understanding at 1am, at 4am, at 5:45am when everyone decided they wanted to be up for the day. And, praise God, I'm a work in progress (LOL).

My wish-turned-prayer has made me different in the middle of the night. I still have a ways to go, but I'm on my way. I'm not happy at 1am, but I'm not snappish, either. I readily remember that I'm busy being a whole different person, and I breathe and hold my baby a little longer.

Please, dear momma, don't read this as my letter to you saying that it's your fault, or that there's something wrong with you. There is more to helping your babies sleep than changing your attitude, and like I said before, I didn't need an attitude change anyway. My attitude was hopeless, I just needed a whole new me. This is not a fix for the sleeplessness, but a soothing suggestion for the heart that can't make it through the night without disappointing herself.

The Lord gives you what you need to be successful when what you need aligns with His will. He gives us His Spirit and His Spirit breathes into and through us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The Lord loves children in a way our culture does not, and He will give you every bit of patience and peace you need to love them the way He does, even in the midnight hours.

Stay prayerful, mommas, and may the Lord be with you through the middle of this night.

All the love, 

Emily 

Please feel free to contact me at admin@tulipsandbasil.com!